SITT: Spider In The Tub
by tatteredparchment
Summary: What do you get when you mix a handful of Weasleys and an empty house?
Weasley one-shot.





	SITT: Spider In The Tub

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own the other characters, places and things affiliated with Harry Potter, as it is all owned by Rowling, as well I am not getting paid to write these things, as unfortunate as that is, and they are all for my own personal enjoyment.

Molly and Arthur Weasley had left rather suddenly a week beforehand on the very important, very secretive Order business. So five of the Weasley offspring sat, wasting away a beautiful summer day, in twelve Grimmauld place's kitchen.

"Bill, you just don't make tea as well as Mum does," Charlie spoke up, sipping the piping hot tea his brother had handed to him seconds ago.

"Considering I am not mum that is probably a good thing you know."

Fred snickered, "Just imagine. Bill as mum."

"Well, you have a nasty temper just like she does," George added, both twins cackling before turning back to Ron, who was adamantly refusing to be a test subject for Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, no matter what the pay.

"Where is Ginny anyways?" Charlie asked.

"She is at-"

"Some bloke's house-"

"Her friend's house, George," Bill cut in.

"For a few weeks," Fred finished.

"Do you two always have to finish each other sentences?" Ron complained, "Its enough to drive a bloke mad."

"Glad I am only here for a few weeks," Charlie muttered into his tea mug.

Fred looked up at Charlie and blinked innocently, "Why brother dearest-"

"Don't you-"

"Adore us?"

"I wish I had decided to stay in Egypt," Bill conceded, "Especially with those two out of school this year."

"Of course," George insinuated slyly, "There are other compensations eh brother mine?"

Bill began to flush the trademark Weasley red and the other four occupants of the room laughed at him, "Fleur still?" Ron asked between gasps of laughter.

Bill, his face redder than his hair, shook his head mutely. Charlie snickered, "Trust you Bill to become waylaid by a girl of sorts."

"Well, what about you Charlie? Fred? George? I know you guys have had your fair share of problems in that department," Bill shot back, "What about you ickle Ronniekins?"

Ron's ears began to turn an awful shade of red at Bill's statement, and Fred began snickering into his hand. "I'm going to take those reactions as a yes, you do fancy some girl…" Charlie sniggered, causing Ron to go even redder.

Ron stood abruptly, "I think I am going to go take a shower."

"Yes please do," George commented.

"When I am finished my cup of tea," Ron finished, ignoring his brother's remark and sitting back down in his seat.

"Has Percy reconciled with the parents yet?" Charlie asked, draining the last of his tea.

An uncomfortable silence filled the kitchen and it seemed that none of the four Weasleys were willing to answer the question. "I forget how out of the loop you are in Romania, Charlie," Bill said, his voice hushed.

Fred shook his head, unusually grave, George spoke up, graver still, "Mum and Dad got a letter from him, right after the Ministry publicly announced You-Know-Who's return. Never found out what prim Percy's letter said though, because as far as we know they never replied to it, and they must of burned it too because we can't find the letter. Reckon it wasn't good though, dad was right furious and mum was crying."

Ron cleared his throat hoarsely, "Percy is such a slimy git."

Charlie nodded slowly, and again a silence loomed over the table. Fred got up and meandered out of the kitchen, while George brought up a family favourite. Quidditch. "Chudley plays Falmouth tonight eh?"

Ron grinned, "And the Cannons are going to knock those Falcons all over the pitch!"

Charlie snorted, "Come on, let's be reasonable Ron. The Falcons are the best team in the league, undefeated, and the Cannons… haven't they lost every game?"

"Aren't the Cannons last?" Bill added, his eyes twinkling.

"No!" Ron shouted, as Fred waltzed back into the kitchen, handing something, probably illegal, to George. "They have won a game! Granted," he conceded glumly, "It was against the Harpies."

"Exactly," Fred grinned, "Assuming you are talking about your pitiful Cannons again-"

"What else does he talk about brother dear?"

"Too right brother, too right. Then we all know that they are an abominable team, and the only reason they aren't dead last, is because the Harpies, surprisingly enough, are worse than them."

Ron began spluttering incoherently, defending his precious Cannons, before standing up, and marching off, purple face and all. "Doesn't take that well at all does he?" Bill asked innocently.

George snorted, "When does-"

"He ever?"

Charlie laughed, "He just cannot admit that his Cannons haven't won the cup in about… 20 years."

"He can't admit that his Cannons haven't even been _eligible _for the cup in 15," Bill added.

"Well the long and the short of it is, they suck," the twins coursed.

Charlie yawned, "So when does the Pot-" He was cut off abruptly when a scream echoed throughout Grimmauld place, "What the bloody hell was that?"

"SITT?" George asked.

"Yup." Bill answered.

Charlie looked around confused, the other three were laughing, "SITT?"

"Spider In The Tub," Bill and George answered before falling into laughter. Charlie, remembering Ron's fear of spiders, began to laugh too.

Fred, who had been in hysterics, managed to gasp out, "Its plastic, I put it there."


End file.
